Opinions, thoughts, etc..and it is super long

In light of recent events, I feel I should share my opinion more freely. If you don't like my opinion you can stop reading here. Because if you get offended easily I can't handle having another person's hurt feelings to deal with. Not that I am dealing with hurt feelings, I just have a lot on my plate and well you know. Plus I read a book, that has had me thinking alot about life and feelings, etc,etc, but I will get into that later.

First off, here is my opinion on hurt feelings. Several years ago while I was working I was doing something wrong. I think it was I was entering something incorrectly when new patients came in. This affected the billing and anyway it was a problem. For several months this went on. Well, a girl I was working with noticed the problem and was so mad at me, but didn't say anything to me. She continued to get even more mad, because I continued to do the same thing because surprise I didn't know I was doing anything wrong. She then took the "problem" to my boss. After which I was called in for a meeting with both owners and the office manager. In this meeting I come to find out what the problem was and as I was being chewed out for something that I had no clue that I had done wrong in the first place it donned on me...why the hell hadn't this person come to me in the first place so that I could correct the problem and move on. Most people who know me, know that I am very upfront with things, you ask me a question I answer (sometimes to my determent, but well that is me).

Anyway, my point is this person had no right to be so mad at me. I was just doing my job to best that I knew how. I am super awesome at my job and well, if she wanted to feel that way about something that could've easily been discussed like adults then the problem wouldn't have drawn out for months and months.

Now I have an 11 year old daughter, who goes to middle school. She is alot like me, super awesome :) Anyway, she has struggled with friends and all that goes along with growing up. Recently she has found some really great friends, but a few months ago she was spending the night at one of their houses and the friends mom decided that she didn't like something that my daughter had said. After she left apparently the other mother talked to her daughter and told her she didn't want them to be friends anymore. So for weeks Samantha was trying to play with this friend and the girl finally says my mom doesn't want me to be friends with you anymore. Well as you can probably tell my kid was crushed. She had no idea what she said or did to offend this person. And when she got home from school she was in tears. She said she apologized to the girl and told the friend to tell her mom that she was sorry for offending her. But again, why couldn't this lady have said something right then, instead of hurting my kid in return weeks later. I mean really, who is the adult here. Plus I know my kid, she doesn't talk dirty or say rude things, so I am just puzzled at what she could've thought was so rude.

You know I just don't get it. It frustrates me to see that things never change, in fact, I feel like they have just gotten worse. Maybe it is because I am seeing things through my daughter and I want to physical hurt people that say or do things to hurt my kid. Seriously, you should've seen me when my daughter was little, I was the mom that was yelling at other peoples kids to get out of the way on the slide cause I didn't want anyone getting in the way or hurting my child. I have since mellowed but ya it was a problem.

Now this may sound overly dramatic, but since I have been dealing with health issues, I have really been trying to think of the bigger picture. Life is too short to be spiteful and mean because you are too scared to tell someone how you really feel. I just don't understand why people can't talk. Now I know not everyone is going to get along and not everyone is going to see eye to eye, but really having been through things in high school, in my work place and with my own kid, I seriously just want to scream. Seriously people grow up, act your age. You know when you actually talk to people, problems get solved, feeling that are hurt get repaired and it makes you a happy person. I know I am one to talk because I can be very negative and a lot of times I get jealous and envious of others, because I can't see every persons day to day life, but in a lot of cases it looks a hell of a lot easier than mine and that is not anyone's fault but my own. Because seriously everyone has their struggles whether they broadcast them to everyone they know or keep it to themselves.

I just read this book called 13 Reasons Why, by Jay Asher. Ever since I read this book, I have had so many thoughts about bullying, hurt feelings, high school in general, adult friendship and relationships (not that I have problems with friends or anything just thoughts) It is about a young girl who commits suicide and before she does she makes 7 audio tapes. On each side she describes a person and how they affected her decision to kill herself. The material in this book is hard to read at times. But the message I took from it was your actions have a consequences. On the part of the girl and also the people that hurt her. Now this is a work of fiction but I did not think that it was fair for the girl to do what she did. She basically was hurt by several people and in the beginning she tried to be the bigger person and let it go, but in my opinion how can anyone make anything right if they don't know they have hurt you in the first place? Unless the person is just a bully and could care less about you or anyone else for that matter, in that case, my feelings are to let it go. But I am also very wise from my years and have figured out a thing or 2 since high school, dating, friendship, etc.

Another book I read is called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K. Truman, because as many of you know that I have been dealing with anxiety and depression. This book is wonderful. There are many people that have hurt me and instead of holding on to those feeling, this book gave me several options to move past them. I am not going to go into a ton of details, but one thing I have done is write letters. These letters are very personally and were never going to be given to the person they were addressed to, but the act of writing out what you feel is something that helped me in ways I never would have imagined. Once I wrote these letters, I burned them. And watching those feeling burn and fade anyway, made my hard feeling and anger do the same.

Now this took me years to come to grips with (plus talking to a therapist) and I still have things I am working out and trying to get past, but like I said life is too short.

I seriously don't know where I would be without my husband and my children. Sometimes I wonder how they put up with me: true story;
I was working and decided to go to lunch with my sisters. We went to Ted's Hot Dogs, probably not the best thing for me to eat with my stomach issues, but that's not the point. I get home from work and my husband had made hot dogs for dinner. And instead of being the super nice wife that I am. I immediately startied yelling at him that I DIDN'T WANT THAT!!! I know super nice, huh. Then I started crying because I have been very limited in the things that I can eat. Then I started sobbing that all I wanted was something to eat that I wouldn't throw up. (i know crazy person) And my husband just walked over to me and gave me a hug and told me that he loved me and that he would make me something else. Then I went to my room and cried some more. And threw up later...good times.
Also, my family. They are always there when I need them, even when I don't think I need them :)
My friends. Who send me emails giving advice or just saying hi, calling and texting just to check on me.
I couldn't ask for better people in my life.

Anyway this went all over the place, so if you read the whole thing and I hurt or offended you, please know that that was not my intention.